Posted by GOD on February 07, 1997 at 11:35:44:
In Reply to: What is going on? posted by Sean Murphy on February 06, 1997 at 07:45:58:
All,
I’m tired of living this lie, I’m not really a GOD.
BIO:
Name: Dr. Seymour Shadenfreude DDS.
Height: 4’ 9”
Weight: 298
Eyes: brown
Hair: mouse brown
Quote: “It could be worse, I could be in the same dating pool as Gene Simmons. I ain’t got nothin’ that could compete with that.”
Likes:
1. Cindy Crawford
2. Those tissues with the hand lotion already in them.
3. Scrapping diseased gum pockets
4. Any porn star named ‘Lynn’
Dislikes:
1. People who don’t brush their teeth before going to the dentist.
2. The PC police.
3. The film that builds up around my toilet the day after eating many sausages.
4. Any Jew who isn’t a doctor or a lawyer.
Favorite Band: Sebadoah; my psychiatrist recommended them to me, he said I was suffering from a new phenomena called ‘Gavin Angst’.
Saddest Moment: “The day my mother called to tell me she wanted her egg back.”
Message: If there are any young ladies who might find me appealing, and live in the Buffalo, NY area please call me at my office 555-7734 (or e-mail me [email protected]). Maybe we could go for a ride in my brand new MERCEDES 560SL, maybe grab a bite to eat (anything but barbecue, it give me the runs). Just think of me as your personal chauffeur (We can negotiate payment later).
Also, if any of you ladies out there need dental work, but are a little short of cash, give me a call, I promise you won’t remember a thing.
Love,
Seymour