Pyjama Party is a British programme broadcast late at night on ITV, one of the independent terrestrial TV stations here.It is a 'girls only' type programme, and any guests must wear night attire to come on the show. It is hosted by Katie Puckrik, an American who has lived here for quite a while, and who is an established 'alternative' TV presenter.
Katie: So, Miki and Emma, thanks for coming to my Pyjama Party.
Miki: S'alright.
Katie: I noticed that you were getting an eyeful of that activity up there [some dodgy innuendo-filled smell-based 'quiz' thing]. What do you think of all this, women getting a noseful of trouser, does that appeal to you?
Miki: No, not really. I think that's (pointing to top of arm)where I go to sniff first..
Emma: When you first meet someone.
Miki: Yeah.
Katie: So, are you not one of these women that's really into the personal smell of your man?
Miki: I prefer the personal smell to aftershave, but, y'know, it depends how.. there's a fine line between a personal smell and BO, y'know what I'm saying?
Katie: Yeah, exactly. So, you don't want them to go too gamey, is that the idea?
Miki: No.. I've got a mate who went out with a bloke, and he only used to have one bath a year, right, and he used to wear the same t-shirt all year, and I think that's a little too.. gamey.
Katie: But do you think there gets a point when you can only get so smelly,and you don't get any more smelly than that?
Miki: I think by that time you're that smelly, you're so smelly it's unbearable anyway. You might not get any more than that, but..
Katie: The smell threshold, you just kinda hit it, and it's a wall of stink. Cos I really like smells, I mean there's certain things, I mean, different women like different things about their men, because Michelle [one of the other presenters] was saying the other week that she actually likes to pick her boyfriend's earwax, out of his ear.
(Miki and Emma look astonished and make astonished noises)
Katie: And Patsy Kensit came to my party a few weeks ago, and she was saying that she likes to pick her loved one's [Liam 'no talent' Gallagher???] feet. So,do you have any little secrets like that?
Miki: Squeezing blackheads.
Katie: Squeezing blackheads?
Emma: Yeah, squeezing blackheads, but I think that's as far as I'll go.
Katie: But that.. is that satisfying for you?
Emma: Yeah, I think so.
Katie: Why is it sat.. (to Miki) Do you like it too?
Miki: Yeah, well there's something quite (makes squeezing actions), y'know, it's an acheivement innit? You get 'em.. y'know, it's probably like monkeys when they sit there going (makes monkey preening actions) y'know..
Emma: Yeah, preening themselves.
Katie: Picking fleas out and stuff.
Emma: Yeah.
Katie: So, you had a big hit with your song 'Single Girl'. You don't really wanna be married and hitched do you? Do you really want to be a single girl?
Miki: I don't wanna be married, I quite like going out with people. It's Emma's song, y'know.
Katie: You're the one to blame, Emma.. what's the thrust behind it, because you're kinda sending it up, it's not actually the mad dash to the altar.
Emma: Well, when I wrote it I was very into being single, but at the moment I'm hitched, so.. y'know, things change, things change..
Katie: They certainly do. You guys have been together for quite a long time, how many years?
Miki: In the band? Eight years, but we used to go to school together.
Katie: Did you? Did you have pyjama parties at school?
Emma: Nah. It wasn't a boarding school, it was a day school, so we..
Katie: Oh, right.
Miki: Goth parties, we used to have.
Katie: Goth parties? What did you do, burn black candles?
Emma: Wear lots of black lipstick..
Miki: Paint our faces white..
Emma: Fishnets on our arms..
Miki: Yeah..
Katie: Right, fishnets on your arms, that sounds like..
Miki: Takes me back.
Katie: Takes me back too, takes me right back to Mr Sam and his Magic Ball..
['Sam and his Magic Ball', a bizarre cartoon, comes on]
This next bit was done during the 'Party Pamper' section of the show. Two drag queens (Angel and Coco, apparently) were giving the ladies a face pack each, putting cucumbers on their eyes,the whole bit.
Katie: So what kind of skin type are you?
Emma: I think they call it combination.
Katie: And what kind of skin type are you, Miki?
Miki: Oily and spotty.
[...]
Katie: [to Emma] So how's that feeling there, being dabbed like a little glazed egg? Do you feel like a newborn gerbil?
Emma: (nervous laugh) Oh, I need a pick-me-up so I think this'll do..
Katie: That's a put-you-down! How do you feel, Miki?
Miki: (in scared high voice) Ohhh, it's cold and I'm scared.
Angel: Are you frightened of me or the mixture, which is it?